Arsenal midfielder Kyra Cooney-Cross will face a wave of emotion this Sunday as she returns to Emirates Stadium for the first time since losing her mother, Jess, to cancer two months ago.
The Australian international, who has taken things "one day at a time" since the tragedy, admits the upcoming fixture against Crystal Palace carries a weight far beyond the result on the pitch.
"I know mum would want me here playing and training," Cooney-Cross told BBC Sport. "And I want to play for the fans as well, to say thank you to them."
She described the complicated feelings that now surround matchdays. "But it's mixed emotions. Game days are very emotional for me now. They mean a lot more. I would say I'm excited, but it's also going to be an emotional day. I want to play and I want to play for her as well and for the fans."
Jess Cooney-Cross was diagnosed in January with stage four cholangiocarcinoma, a rare and aggressive cancer of the bile duct. She died in July at just 45 years old. Her daughter has spoken of wanting to honor her memory both on and off the field. "She was a beautiful human and I want to carry her with me on and off the pitch," Cooney-Cross said.
The 23-year-old midfielder has often credited her mother's sacrifices as the foundation of her football career. Raised by a single mother of four daughters, Cooney-Cross recalled the demanding routine that shaped her early years in the sport. "Mum was a single mum of four girls. Growing up, she was driving me four times a week to train in Melbourne, an hour and a half each way. We barely had money for fuel. I don't even know half of the sacrifices she's made," she said. "I want to carry her in everything I do and how I am and how I play. Because she was honestly amazing."
Cooney-Cross has become one of Australia's standout performers in recent years, earning her first cap at 19 and going on to make 63 appearances for the national team, including starts in all seven matches during the 2023 World Cup on home soil.
During her time away from the club following her mother's diagnosis and death, she maintained a rigorous training regimen back in Australia, working with a personal coach and using gym facilities to stay fit. She explained that football offered her a much-needed sense of normalcy during an incredibly difficult period. "I was training Monday to Friday on the pitch with a one-on-one coach and then I had a gym facility as well," she said. "I did it because it was also an escape. I felt more free and like I could escape from everything that was going on off the pitch. I also did it because I knew that's what mum would want and I wanted to come back this season and be as fit as possible."
Returning to Arsenal after six months out was not without its challenges, but Cooney-Cross praised the club's support throughout her absence. Head coach Renee Slegers and director of women's football Claire Wheatley stayed in regular contact, while teammates Alessia Russo and Taylor Hinds provided crucial emotional support.
"That's when you need people and those that love you and care about you will be there for you," Cooney-Cross said. "I was sad to leave my family, but at the same time, I also felt ready to come back. I had to bite the bullet. I'm so glad I did because honestly everyone has been so amazing. I've been distracted, I've been supported and it's been a really smooth transition. I've got good people around me."
Cooney-Cross featured as an unused substitute in Arsenal's season opener against Brighton. Notably, the Emirates was the last venue where her mother watched her play in person, adding further significance to Sunday's return.
Reflecting on the messages her mother used to send before matches, Cooney-Cross revealed how deeply those words continue to influence her. "She was always the best at sending messages and I read this one [text] message before every game. The way she writes is so beautiful. I think a lot about how I go about life. I think about what she would say or do," she said. "A lot of my purpose is because of her and my drive, but even more so now. I just want to play and do really well for her and bring joy into the sadness of my family."
Based on reporting from BBC Sport.